I love grey. Grey areas, grey morals, grey characters, grey situations...hell, I'm even wearing some grey shoes right now. It's the only color that refuses to hide reality. It's the most solidly grounded in truth. Things aren't black and white. When are they ever?

Why does the CEO engage in insider trading? Why does the "hustler" peddle whatever he does on the streets? Why does a politician lie? Why does the kid steal $5 worth of candy from the corner store? Because he wants to be happy. He wants his family and loved ones to be happy. It's just that we're so inherently flawed and selfish, self-centered beings that after a certain point, we simply are unable to see when our happiness directly means someone else's unhappiness. That's the main gist right there. The reason why we can't all get along the vast majority of the time. The reason why we end up killing each other all too much, all throughout history.

But...I like to think, especially at night, before dragging and pulling myself to sleep with all my might, that people, when given the choice, will always choose the greater happiness, whether it be for him or someone else. Or...at the least, the least amount of sadness, or pain, or suffering. It seems the world just wasn't built with enough happiness to go around...so we're all rolling around in the dirt, on the dirty street, with cars zooming by all around us...fighting...clawing with each other...for every last scrap of happiness. It's sad. Frustrating. Discouraging.

But that's life. It's not high-def. It's not technicolor. And it definitely isn't black and white.

I live in Southern California (Lakerland), but I can't stand the Lakers. And so, of course, I can't stand Kobe Bryant. Well, the reason why I don't like the Lakers is Kobe and Shaq. (I might actually hate Shaq more than Kobe.)

I don't consider myself a "hater" though, because I'm not just blindly hating on the guy. I actually really tried to like him at one point. And last season, when he strung together 50-point games like it was walk in the park and put up 81 points in a single game, he almost won me over by sheer brilliance on the basketball court.

But when it comes to my favorite athletes, I need something more than their talent. I need to be able to like them as a person. Character does matter. Now I'm not saying an athlete has to be a Mother Theresa and adopt orphans and lead human rights protests. It could be as simple as how they treat their teammates, things they say in interviews and stuff, or even how/why they go out and play. (Trust me, this is easier to tell than one may think.) I just need to be able to respect them for more than what they get paid to do.

It's not really that simple with Kobe though. It's a cumulative thing. I can't list them all, so I'll just put five of the reasons why I "hate" Kobe Bryant:

1. His self-proclaimed nickname: "Black Mamba"

He says it's because the Mamba is the deadliest and quickest snake in the world -- and he strives to be just as quick and lethal on the court.

Yeah right...it's probably just what he calls his penis and he thought the name was so clever and awesome, he'd use it as a nickname for the rest of himself. But it backfired. Because now everyone's happily and unwittingly calling him a dick.

2. The number change from '8' to '24'

First of all, I know it was his number in high school. But this forced his fans to all buy a new jersey. If I were a Kobe fan, I'd be a little annoyed.

Why the hell would you change your number all of a sudden in the middle of your career for no big reason? I mean, MJ, I understand. He played baseball for a couple years and came back with a different number. But even then, he eventually changed it back to '23.' But why Kobe?

I think he wants to be like Mike a little too much. Early on in his career, it was the eerie imitations of the mannerisms and expressions of MJ. Back then, it actually seemed endearing in some ways. But it's getting a little old now. Now he's changing his number like Mike did?

'8' is just a cooler number too. '24' seems too random and scrunched up and crowded. And weird. Like a number wanting to be 23, but not quite hitting the mark.

Okay...getting more serious...

3. His ego and self-centeredness.

Both of these have always overshadowed his skills on the court for me. Sure, many athletes flaunt these traits and feed off them on the court/field. That's why I don't like many athletes.

I guess I can't really fault him as much for this one because it's more of a character flaw than anything. But it's a big one. For the vast majority of his career, there's been a certain childish aspect to his motivation to win. Like a kid trying to prove to everyone in the school how cool he is.

The biggest example of his ego is his feud with Shaq that dismantled a serious championship caliber team. I realize Shaq had just as much blame in it, if not more, but c'mon...put your damn ego aside and yield to the old, incredibly annoying "Diesel" for a season or two...especially if it means more championships! I don't know how Laker fans can forgive either of these guys really. But ultimately, Kobe won, and so he tore down the best chance the Lakers had of contending for at least a few more years by kicking everyone out.

Okay, whatever, so he gets his wish. We move on. Yay, go Lakers. But then...after he single-handedly blew everything up and got what he wanted (being "The Man" on his team), after a few seasons of playoff exits and failures, he goes and cries about the mess the team became because of his own ego.

Keep in mind that just a few months ago, this same guy who is being hailed as a great team leader today in the NBA Finals was going on radio talk shows and demanding trades through the freakin' media. He didn't call up his GM, he didn't call the Lakers front office to lay down an ultimatum. He called up a local radio show to do it. How stupid, childish, and attention whoreish can you be?

And those same teammates he said weren't worthy to play alongside him are essentially the EXACT same teammates that he's going to the Finals with now, 8 months later!

His ego comes up over and over again throughout his career in ugly ways...
A few years ago, after being implored to pass the ball a little more and get teammates involved in a nationally televised game vs. Sacramento, he shot the ball 3 times or something. Never being involved, and half-assing his way through the entire game, passing at EVERY opportunity. To win an argument. What is he, 14?

Okay, we'll let that slide. Go to GAME 7 of the 2006 NBA playoffs vs. the Phoenix Suns. A Game 7! The Lakers battle and do an okay job, trailing by 7 points or so by halftime. The coaches tell him to come out in the second half and facilitate the offense. Pass the ball more (again, that common plea). Kobe takes it personally and does the same thing he did against Sacramento. He passes at every opportunity, totally giving up on a very winnable game in the PLAYOFFS, all in order to prove a point and win an argument.

I could go on and on about this ego of his...but I'll move on.

4. Laker fans

I guess Kobe has nothing to do with this one. I just don't like Laker fans in general. Sure, there are great, knowledgeable, and loyal ones around. In fact, two of my good friends are Laker fans. But, in my personal experience, good Laker fans are the exceptions.

It's also annoying how most of them (both good ones and stupid/fake ones) justify Kobe throwing everyone under the bus last summer as a good thing, including dissing budding star Andrew Bynum, saying management should "ship his ass out." Most Laker fans will tell you that lit a fire under Bynum and led to the management getting Pau Gasol.

No...there are other ways to "light a fire" under a young teammate. Like imploring and demanding that the teammate see how good he can be if he'd just work his butt off. And then go and help him get better. THAT is a leader. Not someone who calls a teammate a no-good piece of dead weight.

And no, Kobe's drama-queen, flip-flopping whining didn't get the Lakers to trade for Gasol. There is a very real possibility -- stated by Lakers management -- that they might not have even pursued Gasol if it hadn't been for Bynum's season-ending injury. (He got injured in the midst of a break-out year. Some piece of trash he is...) Oh and I'll also add the Gasol trade was completely shady and bordered on collusion and corruption on the scale of Enron...but whatever, it went through.

Just months ago, the same people who are cheering for Kobe with jerseys on right now were cussing him out and demanding that he be traded. The crowd at Staples Center was booing him in the season opener this year! Now everyone's back on the bandwagon.

Don't even get me started on all the celebrities that show up to the game just to be seen, and not because they actually know anything about the Lakers...or care (except Jack Nicholson).

5. He rapes women

Well, you had to be expecting it, right?
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We always tell our young kids to grow up well-rounded and stuff. Kobe is the ultimate example of someone who has gotten by solely on talent. In a sports culture that can't see past a guy's batting average or vertical leap, Kobe sits at the top. You bring up all the reasons why you can't like him and a Laker/Kobe "fan" will tell you something like "But it don't matter 'cos he wins ball games!"

No, it does matter. That's my point. Why do we encourage this?  There are certain standards and accountability for the rest of society but when it comes to athletes like Kobe? Committing adultery and getting put on trial for rape? "Oh, everyone does that in the NBA. Besides, he's a BALLER! That girl was trash anyway." Arrogance and a superior attitude towards teammates/coworkers? "Oh, but he's too good for his teammates! They suck!"

With all that said, I don't really "hate" him. He might have actually, just maybe, finally matured (at the ripe age of 29...). I also think he is probably the most talented player in the world. And he has impressed me these playoffs with the way he's handled himself and how he's responded in situations. He's saying all the right things in interviews and has been a great leader. He is, without a doubt, the main reason why the Lakers are rolling and firing on all cyclinders. But how long will it last? What if Bynum's knee is much worse off than before? What if the team doesn't gel well? What if they can't re-sign all their key pieces a couple years down the road? Will we see him once again give up on his teammates and coast through games to prove a point?

Kobe has spent more than half his career shutting me out as a fan, hammering in the final nail with his theatrics this past offseason. But I think he has a shot at winning people like me over with what he does in the rest of his career.

For the NBA Finals, I'm going for Boston mostly because I won't be able to stand the monster hype and ridiculousness a Laker win would bring around the L.A. area...but I'm also going to see if Kobe will start winning me over.